


A Collection of:

by HowlsofBloodHounds



Series: Oneshots Collection of: [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Aliens, Babies, Bisexual Female Character, Cat/Human Hybrids, Deal with a Devil, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Goodbyes, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Multi, One Shot, Other, Saving People Hunting Things, Secret Relationship, Shooting Guns, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Watching Someone Sleep, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 9,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HowlsofBloodHounds/pseuds/HowlsofBloodHounds
Summary: A Collection of 1 shots for RvB. Take requests.





	1. Don't Say It. [GrifSimmons, somewhat AU]

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own RvB or it's characters they all belong to RoosterTeeth. Nothing to happen here probably will be Canon, and this is my first time writing a RvB fanfic let alone on AO3. I'll take requests. Criticizing is welcome.

 

_Grif frowned, his eyes tired but oddly alert, as he tugged insistently at Simmons' hand._

 

_"Grif," Simmons sighed, trying to pull his robot hand away from his teammate's death grip. The taller male was certain that if his hand was actually flesh and bone that Grif would've already broken his hand, as he was certain he could hear the metal creaking. "I have to go, they're waiting for me."_

 

_Simmons renewed his efforts of freedom, but Grif whined and pulled the cyborg closer: tightening his grip._

 

_Simmons frowned, surprised that a half asleep Grif was this strong._

 

_Simmons glares at the smaller man, eyes softening when Grif stared back at him: eyes begging._

 

_"Dex, I have to go." Simmons said sternly, allowing his other arm to try and pry Grif's fingers off. Grif let out a loud whine when the nerd finally got the fatass to let go, jumping backwards but not avoiding Grif when he lunged, successfully trapping the cyborg again. Simmons gritted his teeth, grinding out; "You're going to make me late, Grif."_

 

_"Promise me." Grif begged, "Promise me, Simmons, then I'll let you go. Just don't say goodbye, I hate goodbyes."_

 

_Simmons let out a airy chuckle, shaking his head. There was no way anything would go wrong, Kimbill planned it out before hand. Simmons trusted the leader of the Rebels to help him get back his friends, to get back Sarge and Donut and Lopez and Washington and maybe Freckles._

 

_But Grif didn't. Grif never trusted the Rebels, even after they risked their lives to save them and the Blues from the Feds in the canyon, even after they explained their intentions._

 

_Maybe he would've trusted them if they weren't currently sending Simmons, his last Red teammate, out on a dangerous mission on his own; without Grif or Tucker or even Caboose for backup. Tucker was out on his own mission with Felix, Caboose was training his team, and Grif was given the task of keeping track of the ammo._

 

_Simmons gave his Red teammate, his bestfriend, the person he was rarely seen without, the one he has been attached by the hip with since they met in Basic training--basically his other half--a cheeky, though slightly nervous, grin._

 

_"Don't worry, you'll see me again. Now let me go; don't make me hurt you." Simmons teased, giving the fatass--His fatass-- a playful glare._

 

_Grif snorted._

 

_"Please," he scoffed. "Like your skinny ass could beat me."_

 

_Simmons smiled. "I'll see you later, Dex."_

 

_And with a kiss to the cheek, Grif watched the Pelican Simmons is on fly away; waving despite the sinking feeling in his gut that told him he'd never see Simmons again._

 

\--------------

 

 

 

 


	2. The Triplets Headcanon. Part 1.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon/AU. 
> 
>  
> 
> What if North and South wasn't twins, but triplets? And what if that triplet was Felix?
> 
>  
> 
> AKA, the time North got double teamed. But not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T OWN RVB. THIS IS SOMETHING I THOUGHT OF, SO WHY THE HELL NOT GIVE IT A CHAPTER?
> 
> Also, obviously this is going to be considered a AU. 
> 
>  
> 
> Originally the idea was going to be hell of a lot darker, but I looked at that GrifSimmons/Chex alternative chapter....

 

"This [agony] isn't [more agony]  _FAIR!"_

 

 _"_ Life isn't fair!"

 

" _FUCK YOU!"_

 

 _"_ Hey, whore?"

 

"What asshole?" South looked up from her datapad, not even blinking when she saw North spread out eagle style on the very far left of the training room wall. 

 

Felix grinned at her, waving towards the tied up North.

 

"Hand me my knife!"

 

South rose a eyebrow. 

 

\----- _6 minutes later----_

 

_"THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!"_

 

"What. Did. I. Say. About. Bossing. Me. Around?!"

 

"But I thought you was into that kinda thing," Felix let out a pained laugh, even through he was pinned to the floor with his nose bleeding and broken and his hand trying to be shoved up his ass.  "Tehehe. Bow chicka bow--no, wait!"

 

A loud BANG! echoed through the room, causing North to shiver. 

 

A woosh also echoed through the room, causing them to look over towards the door. 

 

Carolina and Washington stood there, Washington's helmet was dangling in his fingers and his mouth was gaping. Carolina was crossing her arms, her expression blank. 

 

"What did we just walk into, Boss?" Washington 'whispers', his voice filled with childlike wonder. 

 

"Insanity, Wash." Depanned Carolina. "Insanity."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA, I have no idea what this is. BUT I'M POSTING IT ANYWAY!


	3. The Change. [GrifSimmons]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grif's thoughts on the noticeable change in Simmons. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Set in the aftermath of the fight in the canyon with the Feds.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Red vs Blue or it's characters. Just the oneshot.

Grif felt like he was about to throw up, his stomach twisting itself into knots. What he was feeling right now, if he didn't already know what it was, Grif might've thought he was somehow on his first period. Or, what he was feeling right now: Grif was sure how all girls described their first periods. 

 

It fucking hurt.

 

Grif hated how his stomach always did this: when he was around Simmons. It was completely absurd: Simmons was supposed to be the nervous nerd, like everyone thought he was. And yet, despite all expectations, Simmons walked confidently beside Grif: his back straight and shoulders not even hunched, not pausing in his footsteps. For all purposes, Grif's bestfriend was walking like Sarge. Like a leader with a purpose, like Simmons was trying to prove something to the Rebels walking in groups around them: and succeeding in scaring away any curious Rebels. 

 

Simmons had changed in many ways since their ship crashed on Chorus. Or, more specifically, ever since they was separated from the rest of their friends and brought to the place where the Rebels lived for the past for years. 

 

Immediately after the fight in the canyon with the Feds and Locus, Simmons hadn't started freaking out like Grif expected. Instead, Simmons did what Sarge, what Donut, what Washington and even what Carolina would've done. 

 

He stayed calm, his face blank of any emotions in a way Grif had never seen before. He rallied his 'troops': grabbing Grif and Caboose, forcing the two of them to stay close to him where he was standing beside Tucker's unconscious body, which was being carried on a stretcher by a few Rebel stand in Medics. Grif couldn't help but think that even Doc would be better than strangers. 

 

Simmons hadn't let go of either of their hands, scolding Caboose whenever the big blue idiot even tried to wander off: which was a rare thing even in itself. Even Caboose had known something was wrong: asking questions about Mr. Lopez and Sergeant and Captain Cinnamon Buns and Agent Washingtub and Freckles and why was Tucker asleep? It wasn't sleep time!

 

Neither Reds had answered the Blue's questions, leaving Grif to try and distract Caboose when he started crying by playing I Spy. Which led to Grif cursing out Felix when the Merc opened his big mouth to try and say something. 

 

Simmons didn't talk much throughout the journey, instead watching the strangers who call themselves Medics work on Tucker with suspicious and judgemental eyes. 

 

Yeah, Grif realized. Simmons was the nervous one, but Chorus was changing him. 

 

Chorus was changing all of them, or will change them. 

 

The problem is, Grif couldn't tell if it would be for the better.


	4. One Of Them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carolina can't help but notice that the Sim Troopers around her are more broken then herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ONLY OWN THE ONESHOT. NOT RED VS BLUE OR IT'S characters, those belong to RoosterTeeth.

Red Team is hardly ever apart. 

 

That's what she learned first. Sometimes they separate, with tense shoulders as the one they leave behind looks on with anxiety and fear and concern. On the rare times they take off their helmets, the first eyes they meet us are of eachother: drinking eachother's faces, printing it into memory. They look down, watching the rise and fall of the chest, showing that their teammate is still breathing. 

 

They have haunted looks in their eyes: eyes that experienced death and agony and confusion and betrayal and tragedy, eyes that spoke of learning the truth. Of knowing, of seeing, things that most people can never hope to know. 

 

They speak of two others, when they think they're alone. They speak of a flamboyant solider in pink and a Spanish robot in brown: they speak these things with tears and longing. They've never said names, yet they also know who they're talking about. 

 

Blue Team is tired. 

 

That's the second thing she learned. 

 

They're not tired of life, of living. They're aren't tired of eachother, they aren't even tired of the guns pressed in their hands (or sword in one case) or even the colourful armor that sets them apart. They're tired of feeling, they're tired of lost: they're tired of losing. 

 

They're tired of feeling insignificant, like they're just toys to be thrown away and forgotten. They're of the expectations placed on them, they're tired of fighting. They're tired of the canyon they was placed in. 

 

They're just tired. 

 

Together, Red and Blue make Purple. But purple comes in different shades, and despite those shades the colour just seems to shine. It's noticeable, it's outstanding. 

 

Even if it isn't a favoured color, people still notice it: especially when compared with other noticeable colors. 

 

The Reds and Blues are Purple: without being purple. They're noticeable, they're outstanding. They shine, they're liked: even if they're aren't given the label as favourite. 

 

Watching them, Carolina can't help but remember something Washington once told her. 

 

“Sim Troopers are humans, too! They can break!"

 

At the time, Carolina--caught up in her feelings of superiority--had laughed and sneered and judged Washington. To her, Washington was weak. He was a boy trying to play solider and not doing a very good job at it. Washington would never be accepted, never a leader. Like her. 

 

And yet, as she stands up on a cliff and looking down, she knows she was wrong then and she's wrong now. As the Reds and Blues crowd around Washington with smiles and cheers of victory. 

 

They don't listen to her, they don't follow her orders, they don't admire or look up to her. They don't trust her, she isn't considered someone they'd follow to battle. She isn't their leader, not one of them. 

 

They listen Washington, they follow his orders. They admire and look up to him, they trust him. They've forgiven his mistakes and they follow him loyally into battle. He's their leader, undeniably and unquestionably one of them. They accept him, flaws and everything that he is. 

 

They're broken people, who found family in people they're supposed to be fighting against. 

 

Agent Carolina was wrong about everything. 

 

Especially, when they crashed landed on a planet named Chorus, she left them. Taking their buddy Church with her. 

 

And when they returned, she was one of them.


	5. The Different Ways Of Crying. [Simmons]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reason Simmons punches mirrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only own the plot, of course.

Simmons is a angry person, everyone knows that. When he cries, he drags other people down with him: just so he won't feel alone. Just so he won't be the only one feeling empty. He used to cry silently when he was a child, but his Father had told him many things about crying silently. 

 

“Real man don't be silent, Richard." He had said. “Real man are loud, expressive, violent! They turn any emotion to their advantage, even sadness! Don't allow yourself to be silenced, son!"

 

Simmons wasn't a very violent person, but he could make himself appear as such. He turned to mirrors and fists: finding that the sound of shattering glass and the sight of blood on his hands scared away anyone who tried to mock him. Instead of soft sobbing, his cries was shouts of anger: betraying the heavy tears on his face. He found that making himself appear angry instead of sad had people often overlooking the tears. 

 

That was the one and only time Simmons had ever seen his Dad smile at him.


	6. Panda Rapist. [Doc]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During season 13, it was found out why Doc was missing. This is where he went, and how he almost lost his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Red vs Blue, obviously! This chapter has a OC in it that's a talking panda, he doesn't have a name! Also, Sassy Gay Friend is in here, which obviously doesn't belong to me either.

 

 

“Life sucks, kiddo." He sniffed. “Sometimes you just gotta grapple life by the balls and gargle--."

 

 

“Quiet, you fool!" O'Malley snapped. “I am trying to rule the Universe, you insignificant cockbite!"

 

“Tsk," the panda scoffed. “Is that any way to talk to your sidekick, Mister?!"

 

 

O'Malley scowled. 

 

\------

 

“So, she was all like 'but I love him' and I was all like 'you met him Thursday, it's barely Sunday morning, slow down crazy slow down'." The panda snorted. “And  _she_ was all like 'love makes you crazy', and I was all like 'I would say so.'"

 

Doc stared at the panda through the glass, the raining pouring down heavily. “He's still talking? Do you think he knows we know he's lying to us?"

 

"No!" O'Malley laughed. Doc frowned. “It's raining heavily out there, should we let him back in?"

 

“Do you want to have a tea party with him again?" O'Malley asked, lifting a eyebrow. 

 

Doc pursed his lips. “You're right."

 

And with that, he closed the curtains. 

 

\--------

 

"And I was all like--"

 

"Shut up," O'Malley moaned.

 

“And SHE was all like--" Panda kept going. 

 

“Shhuut up!" O'Malley groaned louder. “Just shut your mouth!"

 

"And the HE jumped in and was all like 'ohhh girl!'" 

 

“PANDA, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" O'Malley shouted over the panda's ramblings. “SHUT THE FUCK--!"

 

In other news, Panda was found dead at a abandoned Seven Eleven. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this?


	7. Punishment. [Donut, Grif]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grif tends to not take showers when he's suppose to. This is his punishments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I own nothing but this plot bunny! Also, warning for possible nudity.

“Say what?!"

 

“You heard me, Grif." If it was at any other time, Grif might've found Simmons' stern and commanding tone adorable: but as it was, this wasn't one of those times. Right now, Simmons was just as annoying as the day the first met. “Undress."

 

“Fuck to the no!" Grif shouted, wrapping his arms around himself: trying to ignore the stench that was coming off him. 

 

“Come on, Grif!" Donut's annoyingly cheerful cheered. Donut wiggled his fingers at Grif, a grin on his lips. “I'll be gentle, I promise! I could even lube you down first!" 

 

Grif shivered at Simmons' and Donut's matching grins. 

 

\--------

 

“Arrghh!" Grif shouted, trying fruitlessly to push the soup brush away from his skin. “You said you weren't going to be so rough!"

 

“No," Donut laughed, sounding amused. He stared down at Grif like the older boy was a stupid child, making Grif have to resist the urge to reach up and try to rip off Donut's other ear. Lopez wouldn't like the stain on the floor. “I said I could even lube you down, I never said I would! Besides, all my bedfellows have liked it rough."

 

“Do you even hear the things that come out of your mouth?!" Grif shrieked, swatting at the brush when Donut tried to come at Grif with it again. “Just...stop bringing things in here that have no reason to be in here!"

 

"What do you mean, Grif?" Donut blinked, his face the perfect picture of confusion and innocence. 

 

Grif flapped his arms up in frustration, ignoring the water and bubbles that fell over the tub and onto the floor. 

 

“What I'm saying is: stop talking, Donut!"

 

Donut huffed, before going back to scrubbing Grif. 

 

And when Grif got out, Simmons always smirked when he saw how red Grif's skin was.


	8. HeadCanons, Theories, & Thoughts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HTT is going to become a little mini series: a break from oneshots. Together, us fools will discuss Red vs Blue trashy shit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure we're all aware of what goes here!

Okay, so first I'd like to thank you Peeps for kudos and comments: I really enjoy reading comments about thoughts and opinions! So, this chapter is where you can comment weird Red vs Blue trash. 

 

So, if this happened: Sharkface and Felix are still alive and aren't assholes, Siris pops up and Locus was redeemed somehow, which team would they go on?

 

Locus and Sharky will go to the Reds. Locus because season 15 roadtrips through the galaxy to kick bad guy butts! Sharky because Carolina is on Blue Team and Caboose would probably scream everytime he sees Sharkface. 

 

Also, I lowkey ship Donut x Sharkface. No idea why, probably because they're basically the definition of Opposites Attract and Unlikely Couple. They're adorable and I feel they could learn alot from eachother. I also feel that Sharkface wouldn't hurt the people he cares about. 

 

Siris...I have no clue. He seems like the “golden boy" of the Mercs and he put up with Felix and Locus all day...pretty sure he could handle the Reds and Blues for a while. On the other hand, he and Simmons could talk about life as cyborgs!...Yeah, he's joining Blue Team. 

 

Felix, be the trash cat combo he is, wouldn't even try to make a decision. He would be kind of like Doc: only he isn't a Medic. I feel like, in the beginning, Felix would only stay for Locus and Siris. 

 

Also, every Friday Siris, Felix, Locus and Sharky meet up and talk shit about the Gang. 

 

Every Monday Siris and Simmons have a contest to see who's the best cyborg. Than one day Lopez joined and everything went to crap. That was, until Freckles joined. 

 

Siris, Felix and Locus made up their own language over the years and speak in it around everyone. Carolina is currently trying to learn it, on her own of course. She's a stalker now. 

 

Washington mourns his cat pictures that was burned in the fall of the MoI. 

 

Grif's new favorite word is: "fiddle." 

 

Doc is currently behind taught by Dr. Gray how to be a better Medic. He's not learning anything, though.

 

Megan--Siris' wife--is Felix's twin sister? Siris is Felix's brother-in-law?

 

Sister doesn't know when everyone started calling her Sister, but she likes it. 

 

Tucker talks about sexy crime fighting teenagers on another planet' ;)

 

Felix is the definition of “swag." He's like Yu swag plus Akira swag added up into Ryuji swag. If you don't understand what I mean, than I pray for you: you poor child. 

 

The Gang play The King's Game: where the King's orders are absolute!

 

Locus pretends to be drunk when Washington and Tucker drag him out to nearby “bars," even when half the "bars" they go to have no liquor in the drinks. 

 

Lopez is robot: don't tell me he hasn't downloaded the English language and Judo fight crap. 

 

Sarge dreams of pushing Grif off planes: to prove gravity wrong!

 

Felix joined Sarge's War Against Gravity when he was drunk. No one talks about that. 

 

Felix is totally Junior's Uncle. 

 

Donut is huge Persona 5 fan. To wake everyone up, he uses a microphone thingy and screams “WAKE UP GET UP GET OUT THERE!" to wake everyone up. Also, when someone gets taken by surprise, he says: "NEVER SAW IT COOOOMMMIIINNNGG!"

 

Donut has once said: "Brothers, sisters, lovers...Doc!" Doc's offended "hey" went ignored. 

 

Siris is totally Morgana and Felix is Akira. 

 

Siris: you've done absolutely nothing all day, you must be tired!

 

Felix: Wu, it's 7AM. I just woke up. 

 

Siris: *holds knife* GO the F uC k to SLEEP! *eye twitch*

 

Felix is trash. Everyone knows that already. 

 

Felix x Church would be totally amazing and totally terrifying. They would literally blow up the planet. 

 

Washington and Locus argue about cats and dogs. 

 

Felix is a amazing singer. Carolina is jealous. 

 

She's also jealous of Tucker's amazing dance moves and Sarge's rap songs. 

 

When on a mission, Felix hums the mission impossible song. And maybe Locus joins in...maybe he doesn't. 

 

Locus is totally the Goth in the Gang. 

 

What if, instead of gay, Donut was Transgender?

 

Simmons and Felix are totally Asexual.


	9. Poetic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just had to get this out of my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!

In season 15, when find out that Temple lost his bestfriend Biff. 

 

So not only was Biff, his childhood friend, put on a opposite team from while they had to shoot at eachother: but Biff seems to constantly guilt trip Temple then act like he wasn't. 

 

Add that to the fact that Temple finds out that Biff wants to go back to Earth with Georgina; therefore leaving Temple behind in the army. Also add to the fact that for Biff to actually go back home, he has to be seen being injured. And Temple has to do it. 

 

Then right after Temple learns that Biff might be a husband and a father soon, Carolina drags him into her fight with Texas to use as a meat shield. Then Temple sees his bestfriend die right in front of him, all in the span of one day. 

 

Add that to the fact that just minutes before, Carolina had injured the Reds; including Biff. 

 

So days later, everyone's grieving. Then maybe Bucky brings up the fact that Command hasn't given the call for weekly supply drops. 

 

Temple calls and calls, each call never being answered. The calls get increasingly more desperate and angry as the Blues and Reds run out of ammo, now complaining about food and water as they increasingly get frighteningly skinner. 

 

The rations from before are all out, the water and electricity is too. Cold, thirsty, dirty and hungry: both teams slip more and more into confusion, hunger, thirst, fear, anger and eventually insanity. 

 

The last straw is when Loco, so delirious and starved, falls off the base and cracks his skull. 

 

Command isn't answering, Loco is losing blood and getting more sick. The first aid kit is long empty. 

 

Temple leaves Enzo to look after Loco: taking Surge, Gene, Cronut and Bucky with him out of the canyon for more medicine and possibly answers. 

 

They come back with just enough medicine, food, water and more importantly: answers. 

 

They eat, drink and patch up Loco: who suffers from that blow. Temple is shaking with anger as he explains what they found to Loco and Enzo. 

 

After Loco heals, they pack up and leave their canyon. 

 

Now look at the room where he left Washington and Carolina. 

 

Slowly dying in their armor, hungry and thirsty and slowly rotting away. Tired and so cold they can't move, surrounded by old friends who already suffered the same fate they themselves are about to; knowing they can't even help them because they're to late. They try to call out for answers, but they aren't heard and answers aren't coming any time soon. 

 

It seems rather poetic.


	10. It's Better That I Bleed For You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's better that it's just me and you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Red vs Blue, which belongs to RoosterTeeth, obviously.

When the alarms started blaring and his world turned red, he didn't couldn't stop his mind from wandering to places he'd rather not think about. Even when the screams of his "allies" filled the air and his feet slipped from under him--his armored body hitting the floor with a hard thud and sliding backwards--he couldn't bring himself to at least try to stop his descent. 

 

Which wasn't surprising, seeing as he now has a actual reason to not move and to start breathing unevenly. It didn't matter that he was in armor, when he slipped his head hit the floor--designed to carry heavy weapons and armored people--and therefore knocking himself out. 

 

Gosh darnit. 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - 

 

When he wakes, it's not to the sound of alarms blaring and that disgusting rotting smell. Instead, it's to the feeling of gloved hands roughly grabbing his jaw and shoving a bottle of water down his throat. 

 

As expected, he immediately coughs and starts choking. He may or may not have spit blood and water on the person's visor--and he may or may not have been punched in the throat for that and effectively knocked out. Again.

But, at least, before he closed his eyes he saw a glint of green.

 

\--------

 

When he wakes up again, it's to a hard slap and nails dragging across his pale cheeks; blood falling in droplets down his lips. 

 

He couldn't help it this time. He just couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer. 

 

“Kinky." He choked out a laugh, around the hand that clenched around his throat. “You aren't my preferred choice for a dominate, though. No hard feelings, I'm sure you're very pretty!"

 

“Shut up, Felix." Locus murmured as he removed his hand, thoroughly annoyed. “Why did I agree to help you with this again?"

 

“Cause it's fun?" Felix teased, a grin that would've sent chills down any other man's spine on his face. But not Locus, even in armor Felix could tell his partner was thinking of throwing Felix of the nearest cliff. Or himself. “Cause you're one kinky fucker?"

 

At this, Locus stared at him like Felix was a idiot. Which is very rude and if Locus wasn't Locus, Felix wouldn't have hesitated to put a knife in his throat for looking at him like that. But as it is, Locus is Locus. And Locus may or may not be important. Maybe. “How can I be 'one kinky fucker' when I wasn't the one to suggest using this tactic? And more importantly, when we both agreed to doing this for logical reasons."

 

“Okay, first off, good phrasing on those air quotes Luca." Felix snorted. “And second, don't act like you don't enjoy this, too."

 

Locus stared at him. "I don't--"

 

Felix scoffed. “We've been partners for years, Lo. Don't act like I can't tell when you're lying to my face."

 

“Anyway," Locus talked over Felix; which was new. Locus never really tried to talk over Felix unless he really had to. Or Locus was trying to avoid something he didn't want to talk about at the moment. Or ever, really. “Focus, Felix . We're apparently doing this because you don't know how to stop talking. I don't see how this would work at teaching you a brain to mouth filter."

 

“It won't." Felix shrugged and under Locus' curious stare the merc kept going, “I was bored. There wasn't anything to do so I was bored. I found entertainment and now I'm not bored anymore."

 

“How is this entertainment?" Locus asked, his usual depan tone abandoned for a confused tone. 

 

Felix shrugged and said more softly than he would've like to, “Maybe I just like bleeding for you."

 

And with that, Felix got up and made his way around Locus towards the door. When he opened it, the simulations fell apart behind him as he made his way down the halls of whatever Control's ship was called; leaving Locus behind in the simulation room. 

 

He didn't exactly know what he meant, what he said to Locus; he just knew that he meant it. As such, Felix left the words open for his partner to interpret anyway he wanted to. 

 

Right now, Felix had a rainbow of colourful corpses to make and people to trick and a planet to kill and money to earn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this is supposed to be.


	11. Centuries. Locus/Felix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I never meant for you to fix yourself..."
> 
>  
> 
> In which a war spits out two broken men who can't fix themselves. While one shuts down, the other refuses to slow down and drags the other with him. Never really fixing themselves. 
> 
> It keeps going until one is forced to slow down and the other comes back online, finally not allowing himself to be dragged any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the idea.

Sam ignores it. At first, Isaac didn't believe Sam could even actually do it; ignore everything that happened without actually forgetting about it. 

 

That just wasn't the way Sam Ortez functioned: the dude was always budding his nose into other people's business back then, never ignoring a thing. Isaac used to have to literally drag Sam away by his ears just to avoid fights with people. 

 

It was a surprise to Isaac that by the time they managed to hide themselves from the UNSC and find a place to settle down, Sam's sulking seemed to come to a end. Sam was always moving in the weeks after, up early making breakfast and doing chores around the abandoned farm house they found. 

 

Isaac was sure this house belonged to someone before they arrived, but that didn't matter. It was Isaac and Sam's now and this house wasn't going to be taken from them without a fight. It didn't even matter if this house belonged to a old couple, not anymore it didn't. 

 

Isaac couldn't believe his eyes the first time he saw Sam in the kitchen; making breakfast. Isaac being Isaac had opened his mouth to say something snarky, but almost bit his tongue off when he saw the look in Sam's dark eyes. For once, in the last six months, they weren't dark. They were shining brightly and he was smiling in a way Isaac hadn't seen for a long, long time from his partner. 

 

He would be happy to see it any other time, but at that very moment it was the most nerve racking thing Isaac had seen in six months. For six months, Sam had been snappy and jumpy and literally hanging off Isaac like a rag doll looking for comfort: but now Sam looked like the months and everything that led up to them never happened. 

 

Isaac was concerned, that couldn't be healthy, right? But in the end, he shrugged it off and decided 'fuck it.' Isaac certainly wasn't a therapist and if it made Sam feel better to ignore everything for the first time in his life, than who the hell was Isaac to deny him that? It wasn't like it was going to last long anyways. 

 

Nothing with Sam ever really did now days. 

 

So Isaac plopped his ass on those hard stools, said something probably rude, than quietly ate his burnt eggs that Sam sat in front of him. Sam was never a good cook, but Isaac had worst than a few burnt eggs. Even if Sam, for whatever reason, decided that burnt eggs and syrup would be a good combination for Isaac's morning breakfast. 

 

As he ate, Isaac wondered silently if it was because whatever he said to Sam before being given food. Isaac hardly bothered to remember what he said to Sam nowadays, besides it isn't like Sam had room to complain. Just who the Hell did Sam think actually kept them alive for those six months he was sulking around doing nothing but complain like a whiny bitch? Yeah, that's right. Isaac did, don't say he never did anything nice for Sam. 

Fuckin' douche. 

 

The day Sam Ortez stopped being a douche would be the day Isaac died. Which will never happen any time soon as far as Isaac was concerned. 

 

At least, not before Isaac managed to buy that television the size of a billboard that Sam always wanted for some reason. Even after Isaac said it'd be horrible for his eyes.

 

But time moved on and so did Isaac's life. Despite the sudden change of the two of them having to be in eachother's company 24/7 now, Isaac's life never had and certainly never will revolve completely around Sam. 

 

While Sam remained a domestic hissy, Isaac kept up his sudden new found duties of keeping their armor and weapons on tip top shape, scout duty and grocery runs. Which actually meant checking their only means of protection, clambering up on the roof with Sam's Sniper Rifle and going prowling in the forests with his knives. It wasn't like they could take the risk of going to a actual store while being wanted criminals of the UNSC, they did know their faces after all. 

 

Sam kept up his charade game of being completely okay, even after every night Sam would crawl into Isaac's bed because of a particularly haunting nightmare than be gone and out of the house by morning. Sam would avoid Isaac the days after and Isaac would only roll his eyes at how dramatic he was being. 

 

And people would say Isaac was the drama queen. 

 

Along side that, they never talked about how loud and violent Isaac could be during every nightmare he's ever had. They also never talk about how when he wakes up after them, it's to Sam's arms wrapped around him and it's one of those rare times Sam doesn't duck his head and run away. 

 

Isaac didn't let those thoughts faze him though, they weren't important to keeping eachother alive and together and save. 

 

They weren't important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may actually go into maybe a two or three shot; the beginning after the war, meeting Siris and becoming mercs, than getting a offer from Hargrove and everything that happens on Chorus. Than maybe a bonus following Locus after Chorus and how he slowly begans his journey to go back to being Sam while also finding the differences between Isaac and Felix, if there even was one to began with.


	12. There's A Kid In Our Apartment. [Felix/Locus Junior]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Locus comes home after a long day at work, expecting the apartment clean from people besides Felix, but they instead find Felix and a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything. Human!AU.

“Did you finally make true on your threats to kidnap the local children?"

 

Those were the first words to escape Locus' mouth after opening the door to their shared apartment, their eyes immediately searching out Felix and finding him on the living room couch. A weird looking kid that Locus has never seen before on his lap, happily bouncing while clapping his hands. Meanwhile, Felix looked like he regretted every life decision as a song called Bow Chicka Bow Wow blared through the speakers; while the kid seemed to enjoy it. 

 

As soon as the words escaped Locus mouth, Felix was flying towards them; clutching on to their shoulders with a very terrified look. 

 

“Locs!" Felix gasped, sounding extremely relieved. He grabbed Locus by their sleeve and started dragging them with him towards the very confused child. “Locus, help me! Help. Me. I came home from work, expecting a great day of our normal brand of fuckery, than what do I find?! This!" Felix frantically waved his hands towards the kid, ignoring the child's offended look. “This kid, sitting on our couch! The fucker picked our damn lock and he doesn't even apologize! And then, to make the whole thing even worst, I don't even know who the fuck his parents are!" 

 

“Why didn't you just ask?" Locus asked, confused. 

 

“Blarg Honk Honk!" Replied the child. Felix sent the kid a death glare, before turning towards Locus.

 

“He doesn't speak English, Locs!" Felix nearly screams. “THE KID DOESN'T SPEAK ENGLISH!" 

 

“Felix, calm down." 

 

“Calm down?! There's a fucking kid in our apartment, who apparently knows how to pick locks of random strangers, than he fucking doesn't know English! And-!" 

 

Felix's frantic rant was cut off by the kid tugging on his shorts, causing Felix to look down at him with another furious glare. He opened his mouth to say something, but was further cut off by the kid shoving a piece of paper in his hands. 

 

“Okay." Felix murmured. “Apparently, the kid's name is Laverinus Tucker Jr. His fathers is that Tucker dude and someone else named Crunchbite. Kaikaina Grif, David Washington..." Felix trailed off into low murmuring before throwing the note on the couch. 

 

He turned to Locus. “His parents are fucking morons." He said with finality. 

 

“What makes you think so?" 

 

Felix grimaced. “His parents are going out of town for a few weeks and they decided to leave their kid with complete strangers?"

 

\------------**Meanwhile, on the road towards Blood Gulch**--------

 

“You did what?!" One David Washington shouted. 

 

“Yeah, Kai. You did what?!" Tucker joined in from his side in the passenger seat. 

 

Kaikaina Grif rolled her eyes from her spot in the back, waving hand dismissively. “Stop worrying about it. The kid has a three kickass military parents, with con artist and stripper on the side, along with his cultist birth father. And let's not even bring up the fact that half his uncles and aunts not only worked in the military as well, but one is also a pretty great hacker. And even if Junior's fighting lessons don't pay off, there's always Kimbill and Carolina; and of course, Tex and Church. Let's not even talk about Caboose or Doc or even Grif. Not to mention the fact that I had Simmons put a tracker on Junior when he was sleeping."

 

At this, Tucker and Wash sagged in relief; Wash's grip on the steering wheel loosening. 

 

Tucker nodded. “That tracker part was a good idea."

 

There was a beat of silence, before;

 

“Wait, what?!"


	13. A/N.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is really important.

So, first things first; a schedule. 

 

I'm planning to mostly update on Fridays [after school], Saturdays and Sundays. 

 

Requests. 

 

Post in the comments if you have a request and I'll write your request in the Notes on my tablet; right under your username. 

 

Second; I want specific details. 

 

I want a pairing, romantic or not. What side characters you want. And I want a hint at the scenario; like leave a silly or sweet quote so I can get a scenario and tone of the oneshot. 

 

Ex. The chapter There's A Kid In Our Apartment was inspired by the "did you make true with your threat to kidnap the local children," "he picked our locks," "his parents are morons," and "I had so and so put a tracker on so and so." And also, "leave their kid with complete strangers."

 

So, like that.


	14. Perfectly Imperfect. [Lolix]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the Gates' siblings show off their respective partners to eachother without their partners knowledge. 
> 
>  
> 
> It's not weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything! Also, Megan Wu is in here. The AU is Megan and Isaac are siblings, showing off their amazing partners to eachother. AKA Siris and Locus.

Ding. 

 

Felix looked down at his phone, scrunching his nose up in distaste at what he saw. There, in purple PJs, Megan's--Felix's younger twin sister-- husband Mason "Siris" Wu was sleeping like a angel. Literally, on his back and not looking even what Felix would remotely call relaxed. 

 

'Even in sleep he's perfect. Beat that, asshole.' Was written in text under it. 

 

With a smug smirk, Felix shifted his phone to it's camera while turning on it's flashlight; shifting towards the end of the bed to get a better angle. 

 

'Click.' 

 

Without even really looking at the picture, Felix didn't hesitate to press Send. 

 

'You call THAT perfection?' Was Megan's response. 

 

Felix looked the picture over. It showed a sleeping Locus; laying on his stomach, one arm under his pillow and the other stretched across the empty space where Felix usually slept, his face turned towards the place where Felix had been laying moments before, hair covering his face and slobbering over his pillow. Fully relaxed. 

 

'Damn right that's perfection.' Felix immediately responded. 'And he's all mine, sister. I don't share.'

 

'Hmm....goddamn, bro. You win this round.'


	15. Observer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I notice something about Felix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything, also a warning for spoilers of RVB just in case anyone's reading this and haven't gotten that far.

So, in the episode when Tucker and Felix was raiding the base, I couldn't help but notice the fear in Felix's voice when he learns about Locus being there and the reckless action he took. 

 

Of course, back then we didn't know he was a traitor yet. 

 

After learning he was, I went back and watched RVB for the very moment Felix was introduced and observed him. 

 

The fear could've been fake, as everything we knew about Felix was. 

 

It could've been real. Especially what we learned about Felix from Santa: how Felix is afraid of Locus. 

 

It could've been fake, or because Command gave Locus a secret order which Felix didn't know about. Maybe Felix was unsettled by Command or Locus not telling him and the fact that Felix didn't even know he was there until Locus was seen. 

Or it could've been real. I mean, Locus worked for the Feds while Felix for the News. Apparently, it's been many years since they joined those armies. They also had to pretend to despise eachother, which probably wasn't fake. 

 

The News was terrified of Locus, even the Feds were, too. 

 

For Felix, the both of them on different sides of the armies, he saw a part of Locus that scared him; one he has seen a million times but one he could control. But with Locus away from Felix and his manipulations, that means the part of Locus that scares Felix was running free and uncontrolled; willing to harm anyone who gets in his way. And that includes Felix himself.

 

The short leash Felix had on Locus for years was slowly burning away the more time Locus spent free from Felix. Even when Felix revealed himself to be a traitor, working with Locus didn't clench his fear of Locus. Because Locus was stronger than Felix, could easily kill Felix with no hesitation if that's what Locus wanted to do.


	16. Languages.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of quirks I notice about some characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything.

I just realized that multiple characters of RvB speak multiple languages. 

 

The most obvious: half of the cast speaks English. 

 

Then there's Lopez, Locus, Shelia, Grif and Sister who all speak Spanish fluently. As does Donut, no matter how terrible. 

 

Grif and Sister are from Honolulu, Hawaii; so they most likely have some knowledge of their native language. 

 

Simmons speaks Esperanto, mistaking it for Spanish. So not only does Simmons speak English and a supposedly dead language, as mentioned by Tucker in season 15, but knowing Simmons he would've most likely went and tried learn Spanish again after realizing his mistake. So he probably speaks three languages now, like Sister and Grif.

 

Junior speaks Sangheili and Tucker most likely knows a bit, too. He and Junior was Ambassadors, so unless Tucker had a translator how else would he know what the aliens or even his own son are trying to say to him?

 

Locus and Felix were soliders and then Mercs, that type of job requires multiple languages. So Felix probably knows some other languages, too. As did Siris. 

 

We don't know much about Chorus' history, but the planet must've had some other languages, too. And Dr. Gray has been said to be the smartest person on the planet; she most likely knows multiple languages as well. She at least has some knowledge of Sangheili. 

 

Santa, who we also don't know much about, very obviously speaks the language of his creators. Which is most likely Sangheili. 

Texas speaks Spanish, a bit. 

CT, male CT, worked with aliens. He most likely has a bit of knowledge of Sangheili; enough to communicate with Smith. 

 

Wash seems to understand Maine Speak. Delta most likely knows other languages; which means York would as well. 

Malcolm Hargrove would most likely as well. 

Temple seems to speak Shakespeare. Gene is alot like Simmons, maybe he knows some other languages as well. 

 

Loco told Caboose he was homeschooled because he was raised by wolves. I don't know if that is actually true or not, but maybe Loco knows how to understand animal body language. 

 

Vic probably would, too. Flowers defiantly would choose to learn another language. 

The Counselor seems like the type to know other languages.


	17. Latino Temper. [Gene, Simmons]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simmons may be Dutch-Irish, but Grif had always said that the nerd had the temper of a Latino. Unfortunately for Simmons, Biff had said the same thing to Gene. 
> 
>  
> 
> Unfortunately for everyone, both things are facts. In the wise words of Locus: “unfortunate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything! Warning for possible out of character. I just wanted to write Gene and Simmons hurling insults at eachother when they're away from the rest.

Simmons' lip curled up all the way over his teeth, glaring and a low growling echoing out of his throat. Lopez would've found it impressive if it wasn't so damn scary. 

 

“I'm going to spit on your grave," Simmons hissed like a feral cat. Gene sneered back, the two stepping closer towards eachother until they were pressed chest to chest; glaring down at eachother. 

 

Lopez hurried to step away from the line of fire, vaguely aware of Lorenzo copying him. Gene might've been a few inches shorter than Simmons, but that didn't mean he didn't have a vicious death glare. 

 

Cronut-- who was surprisingly easy to tell apart from Donut, at least for Lopez-- stepped in and grabbed Gene by the elbow; pulling the shorter man towards him rather harshly. 

 

There was another thing that set Cronut apart from Donut, Lopez thought. Donut would never be so harsh with his friends, especially Simmons, the way Cronut was being with Gene. 

 

This was a common thing, Lopez had noticed. Unlike the Reds and Blues, the Blues and Reds [which was a stupid name] was extremely harsh with eachother; especially verbally. But Lopez had only seen them get harshly physical with Gene: but mostly when the man was about to lose his temper. Usually around Simmons. It was almost like they didn't trust Gene not to spill something he shouldn't have in a fit of anger. 

 

The similarities between Simmons and Gene in that regard left Lopez feeling greatly uncomfortable. 

 

“Sorry to interrupt!" Cronut apologized, smiling rather forcibly as he tightened his grip on Gene's elbow. Lopez swore he could hear the metal of Gene's armor creaking, even from this distance. Cronut ignored Gene's dark mutterings and Simmons' disdainful look the cyborg threw at both Cronut and Gene, looking greatly unbothered. Another similarity with Donut, Lopez thought with venomous disdain. Cronut pulled Gene even closer than Lopez thought was physically possible. “Gene always forgets to take his medicine at this time, it makes him really grumpy! And usually only hanging out with Temple and Surge can really loosen his tight spots. He's a bit coocoo" -- Cronut made a circle shape by his temple and letting out a little whistle-- "and not all there mentally. But don't worry, when Temple and Surge are done loosening him up; Bucky and I will bury ourselves into him and pound that negativity out of his head until he sees stars and begs for mercy!"

Simmons and Lopez watch Cronut drag Gene down the hall, very obviously hissing something to low for them to hear towards Gene: Lorenzo hurrying after them without a single glance backwards. 

 

Lopez turned to Simmons, the cyborg's helmet still being held in his hands. There was anger still burning in his eyes, made even more scary by his glowing red eye, but the disdain was gone from his face; replaced with a uncomfortable look after Cronut's back. 

 

Turning away from the three of them, Simmons turned back around; startled to see Lopez staring straight at him. 

 

“Lopez!" Simmons gasped dramatically, his eyes widening. "When did you get here?!"

 

Lopez glowered at him.


	18. We'll Be Alright. [Caboose]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caboose, post- battle on Hargrove's ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything but the plot idea. This isn't canon, just my "headcanon". 
> 
>  
> 
> This is set after Season 13, the battle on the ship, but before season 15. Basically, during season 14 I guess you could say.

Caboose was a pirate now.

He didn't have the accent, the wood leg, the birdy always demanding crackers from him while it lazed around on his shoulder or the urge for booty.

 

But he had a eye patch.

 

He couldn't see out of one eye, he didn't know if it was because he was blind or he lost that eye. He was 60% sure the scary doctor lady had told him, but he hadn't paid any attention to her beyond her warning to not take the patch off his eye until she said so.

 

He had been looking over her shoulder, towards Simmon and Mr Cupcake. And beyond them, to Tucker and Agent Washington.

 

Something was wrong with Tucker, Caboose knew. He knew it with a bone deep certainly, despite  Miss FussyBritches and Principal Kimball insisting otherwise. Despite Agent Washingtub chiming in with a tired voice from Tucker's bedside, also insisting that Tucker would be fine.

 

Soon. Eventually. Probably. 

 

Caboose knew he wasn't intelligent in the brain way, but he wasn't stupid when it came to heart intelligence. Especially not when it came to his friends. Agent Caroline and Washingtub was emotionally constipated, as Tucker always said, and therefore they didn't know what they were talking about. They obviously couldn't feel Tucker's pain, as real as their own pain.

 

Caboose had tried to ease himself out of the bed when he had first laid his eyes -- eye -- on Tucker. Tucker was visibly sweaty and shaky, whimpering and rocking back and forth. 

 

Simon and Miss. Cake had been asleep; Agent Washington and the scary doctor lady wasn't there. 

 

Caboose didn't know what it was called, but he knew what Tucker was doing and he knew how to stop it. He saw Gruff calm down Simon lots and lots of times whenever Simon did what Tucker was doing.

 

He had stumbled out of bed, tripping over a wire and causing a loud beeping noise to fill the room. Simon had startled awake, a wild look in his one eye; Caboose distantly remembered Simon frantically reaching out for Miss Donut -- who was screaming dramatically and loudly -- by the wrist and dragging him to the floor.  Panicked as well, all thoughts of Tucker was pushed to the back of his mind as he curled up one the floor; clamping his hands tightly over his ears.

 

He didn't notice when the alarm finally,  _finally,_ stopped rather abruptly; all he knew was that his ears was still ringing and someone's hand was moving towards him. To touch him. 

 

If they person had been reaching in front of his good eye, Caboose would've realised that the hand was familiar. But, as it was, the hand was moving in his blindspot. Fast. Extremely fast.  _Too_ fast. 

 

Caboose flapped his arms around, he was barely aware of the whimpers tearing themselves out of his throat. All that mattered was someone was trying to touch him,  _someone was trying to hurt him._

 

His friends weren't here, or at least he couldn't see them or hear them. All he could focus on was the intense burning in his eye, the jerk of the gun in his hands as Freckles still fires at the enemy, the glint of orange and pink standing over him; blood rushing in his ears. Tucker, nothing more than a flash of teal, somehow still calling out muffled orders to the others; the Red Sergeant chiming in with his gruff voice for Lopez to watch Tucker's back. 

 

It was too much, too much for him to handle in one go. 

 

The past mixed with the present in his mind, both just muffled voices and glints of color. There was that teal; both just a blur and a panicked mess. 

 

That pink; standing above him with the intent to protect him, but also lying helplessly in a bed straight across from him.  

Caboose was a mess; everyone was. 

 

He tried to help Tucker that day; but he only made it worst. And the day after that, the day after that, and the day after that. The mistakes kept piling as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes into hours and the hours into days and the days into weeks and the weeks into months. 

 

He could remember finally being let out of the medbay, the way Grif hovered over him and the way he had freaked out at Grif when the Red tried to stop him from falling. 

 

He remembered when, late at night, Grif would sneak into the medbay and whisper words at Simmons; each word dripping with fear and blame and shame and guilt and love. 

Caboose knew Grif was only saying those things because he thought Simmons was asleep. Caboose wasn't stupid enough to tell him differently. 

 

He knew the words Grif sometimes whispered made Simmons calm and feel special. 

 

He remembered the way Mr. O'Malley would barge his way into the medbay with snacks; sitting quietly by Donut's bed. 

 

He remembered the way Sarge would berate Grif; insisting that Grif should've been lying in the beds instead of Simmons or Donut. Caboose remembered the way Grif wouldn't respond; his shoulders somehow slumping even further each time until it got to the point Caboose rarely saw Grif in the medbay anymore. 

 

Everyone was messed up after that fight. 

 

But, Caboose...Caboose remembered late night talks with Carolina whenever Washington wasn't around; chattering to eachother about Church or Epsilon or Alpha or the Director. 

Caboose remembered how Carolina whispered about a York, how she snickered about a Florida, how she mourned for North and South Dakota, how she blamed herself over a Maine and how she sometimes growled about a Texas. How she spoke with pride about a CT and how she rolled her eyes with a small smile at a Wyoming. 

 

Carolina was always upset after those talks; so the next time she came around Caboose would tell her stories about Blood Gulch and his seventeen sisters and growing up on a moon. Sometimes Carolina would even let him braid her pretty red hair. 

 

Caboose knew something was wrong with Tucker, he knew that Epsilon was gone, he knew that Grif whispered to Simmons and never fought against Sarge, he knew Donut lied helplessly in bed while munching happily on the snacks Doc brought him, he knew he was blind and that he had a blindspot, and he knew Carolina liked to talk about the past while thinking about the future. 

 

Caboose knew he wasn't intelligent in the brain way, but he was intelligent in heart way. 

 

In his heart, he knew his some of his family was gone and some of his family was broken. But he also knew, in his heart with certainly, that they'll be alright.


	19. Alternative Universe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Carolina never gave Sigma away to Maine? What if Wash and South got Eta and Iota? What if Maine got Epsilon? What if York, Texas and North actually tried to convince the team to join them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own any characters! Just the idea. This is a AU.

Okay, so. 

 

Where to start first?

 

Hmm.....let's start with; the Director not allowing Carolina to Sigma away to Maine. 

 

"But, Sir -," she will protest. The Director would immediately undercut her, scolding her about how she wasn't doing this because she wanted to help her teammate; she's just doing it because she feels guilty and her pride. 

 

A burning feeling will burn in Carolina's gut, but she will shove it down. Down, down, down; where the tempting thoughts of punching the Director in the nuts hide. Her spine will go ram straight and she'll purse her lips and grit her teeth; but she'll nod like a obedient solider and stiffly leave the room, the feeling of burning static in her ears. 

 

She's in the training room when South finds her, all angry eyes and mocking jeers. 

 

“I hear you tried to give your AI away to Maine," Agent South Dakota starts the conversation; leaning back in the doorframe of the training room and watching Carolina with a critical look in her eyes. South crosses her arms when Carolina doesn't acknowledge her. The silence fills the room for a few minutes, before; “That kick was sloppy, Princess." 

 

Carolina immediately tenses all over, whirling to face South with a dangerous look in her vivid green eyes. South only raises a unimpressed eyebrow. 

 

“What?" South scoffs. “Don't go all alpha female on me because I told you the truth." 

 

“What would you know?" Carolina sneers, turning away from South. “You can't even do your job correctly, Miss Infiltration Expert." 

 

“What do I know?" South laughs, pushing herself away from the wall. “I know that I don't need a fucking creepy AI to speak for Maine when I can understand him just fine. Hell, he's been injured barely a week and Wash can already fucking understand him. Come on, Carolina; have you never heard of sign language or Morse Code before?" 

 

Carolina blushes all over, because...no. She knew what sign language and Morse Code was, of course, but she didn't know it. But Carolina wasn't going to tell South that; no way. 

 

But, of course, no one can hide things from South. Especially not when it's something you would consider embarrassing. 

 

“Oh, would you look at that?" South snorts. “Our O Wise and perfect leader Carolina isn't so perfect!"

 

Carolina frowns, turning back to the training. With a wave of her hand, FLISS immediately started up the training session again; green circle holographs float around in a circle. 

 

Carolina doesn't immediately step in the circle, instead turns to face South again. 

“If you just came here to make a mockery out of me for your own amusement, then leave."

 

South only rolls her eyes, waving a hand in the general direction of FLISS. FLISS takes the hint, turning the training session off again with what faintly sounds like a annoyed sigh. 

 

“First off, stop being so overdramatic--"

 

"I wasn't--!"

 

"You were." South cuts her off sternly. “It doesn't suit you, that's Wash's thing. And second, I didn't come here to 'make a mockery out of you for my own amusement'." South snorts again, shaking her head as she says the words. 

 

“Then why are you here?" Carolina demands. In response, South throws what she had been hiding behind her back towards Carolina; which Carolina caught just inches away from her face. 

 

Carolina examines the book for a moment, before looking back up towards South with a curious look in her eyes. “Morse Code and Sign Language for Dummies 101?" 

 

South grins, nodding somewhat proudly. “Yep. Made it myself, just for you assholes. Consider it a early birthday gift for Maine. Read it, learn it, remember it and don't talk to Maine until you do." 

 

And with her part done and over with, South immediately took her leave; letting the training room door shut close behind her with a loud bang that echoed around the room. 

 

Carolina looked down at the book in her hands, lightly tracing the bubbled words of the title with the pad of her thumb and gently biting her lip. 

 

“Agent Carolina, would you like me to restart the training session?" FLISS cheerful voice asked. 

 

Looking towards the general direction of FLISS's voice, Carolina carefully considered that. What was more important to her; beating Texas, or making sure she can effectively communicate with her friend who got injured protecting her?

 

There was a burst of burning static in her ear, whispering that if she didn't train; then Texas will always beat her. She'll always be second best to the Director. 

 

And with that, the answer came easily to Agent Carolina-- 

 

“No thank you, FLISS. I've got homework to do." 

 

\--because Carolina will never be Second Best to her friends.


	20. Lies. [Felix Observation]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I notice something about Felix and lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what goes here.

So, throughout almost the entirety of seasons 11, 12, 13, 14 Felix has never really told much lies. Not straight up lies, anyway. 

 

1\. When they took over the ship and Felix said he would let any prisoners off the ship if they didn't want to work for Control, he did let them off. He just never said HOW or if they'll even get off alive. 

 

2\. He said he wasn't going to kill Stasney, and he didn't. Locus did. 

 

3\. When he got off the ship, he said "You won't FIND anyone on this ship," not "no one is on this ship." And those people never did find anyone on the ship, because Locus and the other Mercs were invisible. 

 

4\. He told the Reds and Blues that he would help them get out of the canyon. And he did; he just never said if anyone would get hurt, left behind or killed. 

 

5\. He said he was helping the Rebels, not that he was one. Therefore, he never swore to never betray them. 

6\. The backstory he told Kimball about himself and Locus was true. But he never said that they stopped being partners. 

 

7\. He literally disobeyed direct orders from Kimball by using the loophole that he is a Mercenary, not a solider or a rebel. Therefore, he never had to listen to a thing Kimball told him. 

 

8\. When he called the Reds and Blues the galaxy's greatest soliders, that isn't a fact. That's a opinion. 

 

Sure, there was some direct lies; by telling Kimball the Reds and Blues were killed by the Feds. 

 

Hell, he didn't even lie that much to Locus. In fact, Locus was the person Felix told the most truth to. 

 

He said they had their orders to keep Locus in line, and they did have orders. He said they were survivors, and they were. He said they needed eachother; and they did, to play off eachother's strengths and cover eachother's weaknesses. 

 

Locus wanted to follow orders and Felix wanted to give orders. Win-win, in Felix's eyes at least. 

 

But one thing I can't figure out, is why Felix used his shield to protect Locus from the falling ship, too if he was supposedly scared of Locus or didn't care about Locus. 

 

No one puts themselves in a position of certain death to protect someone they don't care about, especially not someone like Felix. 

 

Santa said only one of them needed the other to survive. Locus thought he needed Felix, but Felix actually needed Locus. 

 

Felix wasn't scared OF Locus. He was scared of Locus leaving him, alone. 

 

He was scared, that if someone in a position of authority gave Locus the order to kill or leave Felix, then Locus would. 

 

He was scared of being alone. And I think he was also scared that Locus didn't actually care about him, just that Locus cared that Felix gave him orders. 

 

He was scared that the only person he can feel some feelings of trust and safety would leave him. He was scared that, one day, Locus wouldn't need him because Felix needs to be needed. 

 

And I got a little sidetracked, but I can't bring myself to go back and fix it.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, stuff and thangs.


End file.
